


If I Go Outside I'll Fall Apart (Version 1)

by SMackenzie1



Category: Waterparks (Band)
Genre: Anxiety, Depression, Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Panic Attacks
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-08
Updated: 2020-09-08
Packaged: 2021-03-06 19:55:17
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 835
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26354569
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SMackenzie1/pseuds/SMackenzie1
Summary: Awsten is having a terrible day. His boys are there to help.
Relationships: Awsten Knight & Geoff Wigington, Awsten Knight & Jawn Rocha, Awsten Knight & Jawn Rocha & Geoff Wigington & Otto Wood, Awsten Knight & Otto Wood, Awsten Knight/Jawn Rocha/Geoff Wigington/Otto Wood, Implied Polyparx, Jawn Rocha & Otto Wood
Comments: 4
Kudos: 21





	If I Go Outside I'll Fall Apart (Version 1)

**Author's Note:**

> Hi. I've been out of school for two years now and haven't written anything within that time, so sorry if I'm a bit rusty. This turned out a lot short than I wanted it to be and is unedited because it's 2am and I have work in the morning.
> 
> This is half inspired by a really bad panic attack I had at work last week. People suck and the customer is not always right.
> 
> Title is from It's Okay, I Wouldn't Remember Me Either by Crywank
> 
> *UPDATE* This has been completely rewritten and improved upon! The revised version is longer and more detailed with some changes.

Awsten was having a terrible,  _ terrible _ day.

There was no doubt about it. From the very moment he woke up he could tell it was going to be bad. The deep, sinking feeling in the middle of his chest, the dark, stormy clouds in the back of his mind- his entire being felt heavy and miserable.

Getting out of bed was a challenge, and it took Geoff’s gentle coaxing to get him to eat breakfast. But his throat felt tight and his hands shook with anxiety. He wasn’t able to finish it.

Unfortunately, it was a busy day. Interviews followed by more interviews followed by a photo shoot with Jawn. They had an album to promote after all, but Awsten wasn’t feeling up to it. Getting ready to leave the hotel, Otto must have caught on to his nervous energy- either that or he had seen the worried glances Geoff and Jawn were shooting at him, because Otto slid his hand into Awsten’s and gave it a comforting squeeze, easing a small amount of his heaviness.

They held hands in the car on the way to the studio where their first couple interviews would be held, leaning against each other as much as they could in the restraints of the seat belts in the backseat. Awsten stayed quiet, but he was grateful for the attempt to make him feel better. 

The drive was short and soon enough the band was piling out of the van, Awsten pulling his hand from Otto’s and fixing a face to mask the anxiousness he was radiating. He immediately regretted letting go of Otto and had to stop himself from flinching. Today was going to  _ suck. _

~

And suck it did. 

Each interview felt like an eternity, and by the time the shoot came around, Awsten felt like he was ready to cry. His skin was buzzing and his head was on fire and there was nothing in the world he would have rather done than go home. The persona he had been holding up was crumbling quick, and he didn’t know how much longer he could take it.

“Let’s go home.” Jawn said, and Awsten nearly cried out in relief, reaching out and grasping at Otto’s arm once again. Someone from their management team tried to protest, but Geoff shot them down, and the boys walked back out to the car. The photo shoot could wait another day. It’s not as if Jawn wouldn’t be with them anyways.

The drive back felt much longer than the one previous. The moment the car stopped in the parking lot, Awsten was out of his seat and scrambling up the stairs into the apartment. He scrambled with his keys, but his hands were shaking too much. It took him a minute, but he finally got the door open, stepping inside and lightly pushing the door back. 

The door didn’t close all the way, and when Awsten went to push it shut, it swung back open as Geoff followed him in. Awsten let out a weak apology before promptly turning towards the living room and collapsing to the ground.

His ears were ringing and he put his head to his knees. His hands trembled with more ferocity than he had ever experienced. He pushed them into the carpet, digging his fingertips in to attempt to stop. Hands settled on top of his shoulders, causing him to hiss before recognizing them as Geoff’s. The hands rubbed up and down the top of his arms, and someone’s chest pressed into his back.

The panic attack he was so violently thrown into started to slowly bleed away. As the ringing died down, he could hear Geoff softly speaking in his ear, instructing him to count with him. He mouthed along with the numbers as he caught up with him and a sense of calm started to warm him up. Lifting his head he could see Otto and Jawn sitting across from them, leaning into each other and watching the scene unfold.

Awsten let out a shaky breath and reached out to Jawn, who swiftly pulled him out of Geoff’s arms and into his own.

“You okay?” Jawn asked, and Awsten shrugged tiredly. He would be. Jawn guided him to the couch and pulled Awsten down on top of him, the colourful haired boy resting his head on his chest and closing his heterochromatic eyes.

Geoff and Otto were speaking softly to each other in the doorway, and when Awsten reopened his eyes the two were setting up Mario Kart on the Switch. Geoff sat on the couch, lifting Jawn and Awsten’s legs to rest on top of his own and lightly running his hand up and down Awsten’s ankle. Otto had chosen to sit on the floor in front of them, giving Awsten the opportunity to drape his arm over Jawn’s chest and tangle his hand in Otto’s curls. 

Awsten had a terrible,  _ terrible  _ day. But at least his boys could help him feel a bit better.

**Author's Note:**

> Tumblr is bursting at the seams with Awtto content lately, but I've been buzzing for some good ol' Polyparx so I did it myself. 
> 
> If you're interested, my Tumblr is thegirlwholuvs2sing
> 
> Let me know what you think! Constructive criticism is also highly appreciated.


End file.
